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2002 YEAR-END PARTY - Here's the latest:  

Sunday, January 19th is the set date, at Splinters as usual, with lots of gambling and hopefully some new hot sauces.  Note that to coordinate with the NFC Championship game (2:00 PM), the party start time will be at 1:00 PM.  So you know, we'll probably do the same as last year and take up a $20 collection from everyone at the party at the beginning of the day; that seemed to work as a fair start to covering the bar costs.  We'll review again later during the day with the "Kick" funds collected and any other generous donations factored into the final tab.

Remember that the purpose of the party is to have fun AND settle up all the payouts, so at the minimum at least one owner from each team needs to be there.  There has been a seven-week notice on this date so hopefully there will be no issues.  IMPORTANT - as outlined in our rules, no money will be paid out to winners until ALL FUNDS are if for some reason you and/or your team co-owner owe money and have a problem with attending, we will need to make some alternative arrangements for collecting on or before the 19th.

VEGA and FuMunda Cheez owners - I will need to get the trophies from you sometime before the 19th so I can make the appropriate "engravings" for the Superbowl & Toilet Bowl winners.  As mentioned last year, these are like the Stanley Cup and are owned by the recent winners for the year.  I'll follow up with you via e-mail or phone in the near future so we can make arrangements.


NEWS - December 3, 2002

Postseason Schedule and Issues
Each team will play a total of three games in the postseason to make all final point, efficiency and power rankings results even across the board.  Most are directly related to the standard brackets though consolation rounds have been added.  Depending on the situation, not every game may count towards the final season records (and subsequent fines paid for losses)…however they WILL count for calculations of efficiency and power rankings.  The actual playoff brackets are available on a separate page, but here’s how the schedule breaks down for the playoffs & “last chance bracket”, with status listed:

 Week #14:

   Week #15:

 Week #16:

 Week #17

In case some of the teams are curious, the confusing “circular” rankings for spots #8 - #10 work out as follows.  In the event my logic is incorrect please forward onto my your suggestions:

Cyclones #8 because they’ve beaten G-Men HTH & own better conference record than G-Men.  2-0 tiebreaker that favors Cyclones overrules all, so they cannot be below G-Men.

G-Men #9 because they’ve beaten the Blind Squirrels HTH thus cannot be below the Blind Squirrels.  However, to elaborate, G-Men have worse conference record but scored more points, thus two out of the immediate three tiebreakers favor the G-Men.

Blind Squirrels #10 even though they beat Cyclones HTH, due to above scenarios they lose out in the numbers game.


2002 YEAR-END PARTY:  Here's the date!  

The party itself will be at Splinters as usual, with lots of gambling and hopefully some new hot sauces.  Unfortunately I’ve been informed that six or seven of our owners would not be able to make the party if it’s held [the weekend of] January 11th, so we have to shitcan that date.  Either Saturday, January 4th or Sunday, January 5th are possibilities (and it’s wildcard weekend), but right now there’s a chance I’ll be out of town so I really can’t commit.  

However, after further discussions (and the general lack of other possible days), it appears that Sunday, January 19th would work well…that’s the date of both NFC and AFC championship games and basically is just another Sunday of football (FYI - there is not football on Saturday 1/18).  Please mark it down on your calendar as our “official” date for the SFFL year-end party and plan on attending – remember that the purpose of the party is to have fun AND settle up all the payouts, so at the minimum at least one owner from each team needs to be there.   

I’m sure you’re all aware that I always try to be as accommodating as possible…but it’s next to impossible to find a date that’s ideal for everyone.  This is basically a seven-week notice so hopefully there will be no issues.  If you and/or your team co-owner have a problem with that date, please let me know and we’ll make some alternative arrangements for the $$.   



NEWS - November 27, 2002

Playoff Outlook and Scenarios...
After reviewing the playoff structure, I found an error in the amount of games that were scheduled as it related to the final league funds (paying for losses).  Some penalty funds will be allocated differently so that the total year-end payouts remain the same.  These amendments and a better explanation of the playoffs were added to the rules book for reference.  A more comprehensive playoff breakdown will be out after this last week of games. 

OK, after trying to figure out some of this mess I have a headache.  Part of it is easy, but that wacky Federal conference with the two favorites losing last week has thrown a wrench into the system (sort of like what the BCS does to college football).  Anyway, as I have figured it out, following is the general breakdown of conferences, tiebreakers and situations.  It's probably mostly accurate though if I'm off on a couple instances, big deal as it will be decided after week #13.  

American Conference:  this is the simplest one to figure out - only one team will make playoffs, and it will be the conference winner.
High Tech Rednecks
win the conference if they win.
wins the conference if they win, and the Rednecks lose
win the conference if they win and Ruffy loses
Dukes are out of playoff hunt.

National Conference: two or three teams may make playoffs:|
PRI wins the conference if they win AND/OR Venwaz loses (likely in playoffs)
wins the conference if they win AND PRI loses (likely in playoffs)
make the playoffs if they win AND the G-Men lose
Blind Squirrels are out of playoff hunt

Federal Conference: two to FOUR teams may make the playoffs:
FuMunda Cheez is in the playoffs but can clinch the conference with a win.
VEGA wins the conference with a win (likely in playoffs)
Pull My Finger wins the conference with a win AND a VEGA loss (likely in playoffs)
G-Men must win to make the playoffs.

Additionally, here's some scenarios to certainly help to guide you when you're wondering who to support:

**Assholes must win to make playoffs AND need Pull My Finger to win.  

**FuMunda Cheez has apparently clinched a playoff berth regardless of what happens, but can still win the conference title.  

**G-Men must win to make playoffs  

**PRI will miss playoffs if they lose, Venwaz wins, Fumunda Cheez wins and G-Men win.  All four teams in Federal would make playoffs plus Venwaz and winner of American.  

**Pull My Finger can miss playoff if they lose and VEGA wins.  They’ll be in fourth place in their conference and a few tiebreakers working against ‘em.   

**VEGA will miss playoffs if they lose, PRI wins, Venwaz wins and G-Men win.  They’d end up last place in the Federal.  

**Venwaz will miss playoffs if they lose, PMF beats G-Men and Fumunda beats VEGA.  VEGA gets #6 spot due to points tiebreaker.



NEWS - October 30, 2002

League FINES through Week #8

 One of the extra “incentives” for SFFL cash collecting comes from weekly performance, where those who don’t fare so well get hit with one or more of the following:  the infamous Kick in the Dick ($10 for lowest score), Low Efficiency ($5 for worst actual vs. potential percentage), and Low Power Rankings ($5 for biggest difference in score).  So far only one team has earned the Hall of Shame trifecta in the same week…if you guessed the Cyclones, you’d be correct!  Below is the current listing of these weekly performance fines:  







Blind Squirrels






High Tech Rednecks




FuMunda Cheez


Pull My Finger


 Congrats to the G-Men, Ruffy & VEGA who haven’t made the list…yet.

 Note that other monetary incentives include paying for losses, negative point differentials, and of course transactions.  Counting the playoffs we’re currently halfway through the season, and these three weekly penalties remain in effect throughout the entire season.

 Power Rankings & Efficiency Ratings Adjustments

 After reviewing the trends and performances through eight weeks, it became apparent that a few balance adjustments were necessary.  The problem with Power Rankings was that it was way overbalanced by win-loss record, so the team with the better record was pretty much always guaranteed to be ranked higher.  For example, a team with a 5-3 record but only averaging 4.4 ppg differential shouldn’t be ranked higher than a 4-4 team that averaging over three times that amount.  There is now greater emphasis on point differential and less credit given for win-loss percentage.  The actual power ranking totals came down significantly, but it all seems to have balanced out correctly.

 Regarding Efficiency Ratings, the tweak was again to give less emphasis on the W-L records and more towards the actual-vs-potential point scoring.  It was a minor adjustment - the prior formula old was 2/3 weight on scoring to 1/3 weight on record, now it’s ¾ to ¼).  Again, the balance now makes more sense.

 By the way, for the few of you cynics out there (and you know who you are), I can assure you that these adjustments have not been of benefit to the commish’s team, PRI…in fact their overall standings in both categories haven’t changed at all. 


NEWS - August 25, 2002


What a great evening on Friday, August 23rd...thank you EVERYONE for another successful draft!  After talking with some of you, it seems like Friday evening is a pretty good time to do the draft...and the expanded accommodations this year at the golf course were quite nice.  I know some people critique my partner for basically freeloading through the entire season, but he was pretty helpful this time around.  I'll put him back to work at the year-end party to earn his keep!

I have entered all the drafted players into the program and have draft results, conference breakdowns, schedules and free agent players available for your viewing pleasure.  Everything appears to be correct, but do check and let me know if there are any errors.  By the way, Assholes, the Ricky Williams pick does NOT count as an error.

A couple other notes - we voted down the Franchise Player rule 10-2, so this rule will not be in effect beginning next season (I will modify the rule book eventually).  Also, one major team name change - The Cheesy-Poofs will now be called FuMunda Cheez.

If you are interested in playing in the "Pick Ten 2002" pool (stapled to the back of my draft day handout) just follow the directions on the sheet and let Steve know that you're a friend of mine.  If you need another copy, click here.

Speaking of gambling...who has all the SIDE BET info?  Can you please e-mail it to me so it can be posted on the site?

More soon!



NEWS - August 13, 2002

We had a decent turnout for the THINK TANK, with ten people representing five teams showing up.  Besides lots of drinking and watching a pathetic pre-season Bears performance, here's what was accomplished:

Franchise players named & draft order set

The following teams have declared franchise players for the 2002 season:

Assholes - Ricky Williams, RB, MIA
Dukes - Shawn Alexander, RB, SEA
High Tech Rednecks - Kurt Warner, QB, STL
Painful Rectal Itches - Jeff Garcia, QB, SF
Venwaz Balls - Edgerrin James, RB, IND
VEGA - Marshall Faulk, RB, STL

The draft order is as follows, with the actual first pick being the #7 spot.  

Teams with franchise players Beginning of draft order (#7)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
VEGA Venwaz Balls Assholes Dukes PRI HTR Cheesy-
Blind Squirrels Cyclones G-Men Ruffy PMF

In the efforts to keep a good free-agent talent pool available, help share the league wealth and keep all teams actively participating throughout the season, we are implementing several different rule additions and changes for the 2002 season.  Note that on the financial side we did not raise the main static costs such as the league entry fees or point differentials, but there are some minor adjustments to variable fees based on performance.

Following is just a summary...details on all the below are outlined in the 2002 rules book

1        Use of Tight End as mandatory position
Each team must draft and carry one (1) tight end on their team at all times.  TE will be drafted with WR, may draft any combination up to five total WR & TE.
TE scoring will be same as WR except they will receive one (1) point for each reception.

2         Defenses giving up 30+ points (regardless of how points are scored) will incur -5 point penalty.  Defensive shutouts will still be worth +10 points.

3         Teams must carry 15 players on their roster at all times.

4         Revamped power rankings and efficiency rating calculations, to take into account quality wins/losses, etc.

5        Franchise player
$50.00, raised from $25 (effective 2003 season).
Franchise players will only be allowed to be named as such one year

6         Combined rankings on weekly efficiency and power rankings – worst overall weekly team pays league $10, similar to the Kick in the Dick .  $120.00 goes to league party, and the rest goes to efficiency & power rankings champs.

7         Playoffs will include scheduled matchups for losing teams to determine 3-6 places.
Losses in playoff rounds upped to $25 (raised from $10).  Most of the extra $$ will go towards year-end party.
Ø      3rd place team will earn additional $50

8         Non-Playoff teams will be in a “Second Chance” playoff bracket to determine 7-12 place & Toilet Bowl
“Second Chance” playoff losses will cost $10 (similar to regular season)
7th place = $50, 8th place = $25, 9th place = $10
Toilet Bowl loss raised to $25, raised from $10.  Teams determined by “Second Chance” bracket, not final win-loss record.

9         Week #1 pool, starting the 15th round player.  $10 per team mandatory (raised from $5).
1st place = $70, 2nd place = $40, 3rd place = $10.


Up for vote

Franchise Player - do we keep it in 2003 or dump it?  If we keep it, the new rule will be that a player can only be named a franchise player for ONE year. regardless of what team he is on at the end of the season.  That player must then be returned to the draft pool before potentially being named a franchise player again.  To clarify, all the players named as keepers this year would be available in the draft next season, and could be named franchise players for the 2004 season.  We will do a definitive vote on this at the draft this Friday.