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Assholes

OwnersKevin Fletcher, Jeff Sneed
2001 Stats: 8-6, National Conf Champs, 10th in point totals, 7th in power rankings, last place in efficiency.  Lost to G-Men in first round of playoffs.
2002 Outlook: Whined about their keeper pick Ricky Williams, but he'll still be the best on their team.  It will be a longshot for them to repeat as conference champs, since the National is actually good this year.  Prognosis:  average.

 

Blind Squirrels

Owners: Eric Spracklen, Rich Krautsack
2001 Stats:  8-6, American Conf Champs, point totals champs, 2nd in power rankings, efficiency rating champs.  Earned bye week (#2 seed) in playoffs, but lost to VEGA.  
2002 Outlook: The Squirrels don't appear to have lost much from last years strong team...despite a slightly weak RB staff, they're loaded from top to bottom.  Could they be looking at a third straight conference title?  Possible, yes...easy, not exactly... 

 

Painful Rectal Itches

Owners: Bryan McGonigal (commish), Gene Dorsch
2001 Stats:  7-7, 2nd place in National Conf, 2nd in point totals, 4th in power rankings, 4th in efficiency.  Lost to VEGA in first round of playoffs.
2002 Outlook:  Commish & Co. feel pretty good about their team this year...seems to be well balanced with a few special standouts.  Will, as usual, be looking to challenge for the division title in this tough conference.  Could be a true shootout!

 

Venwaz

Owners: Kenji Kusumoto, Chris Stevens
2001 Stats: 3-11, last place in American Conf, 6th in point totals, 11th in power rankings, 6th in efficiency.  Toilet Bowl losers, thus officially worst team in league.
2002 Outlook: Solid RBs should help them improve on last years dismal draft-board-making season, but tough conference may play against them.  They will need their QBs to rise to the challenge if they are to avoid another low finish.